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Your tongue is three dimensional and has many different surfaces. Keep in mind that even things that aren’t part of the clitoris can be pleasurable for your hookup/partner/person.
Try a bunch of different tactics: flatten your tongue and lick the whole area (like an ice cream cone!
Disclaimer: not everyone answering questions will be a medical professional. These articles about sex are to promote conversation, so if you agree or disagree with what we say, please feel free to leave it in the comments. This question was asked in person, so I’m going to paraphrase it: I’ve had other kinds of sex before, but somehow I’ve never gone down on someone with a vagina. Okay, reader who was brave enough to ask me this question in person, this one’s for you.
Discussion, much like sex, is a healthy part of life. And because I’ve done other stuff before, I feel like people I hook up with expect me to know how to do it. Consider it our follow-up to How To Have Lesbian Sex For the First Time (and yes, the language we choose for these headlines are chosen for search engine optimization reasons! And different vaginas like different things, which is why it’s hard for us to give you any across-the-board advice.
What is less sexy, though, is ceasing mouth-to-vulva contact because you have the equivalent of a charlie horse in your neck.
If you’re doing things traditionally, sliding a pillow under the receiver’s bum is a great way to raise their hips up so that you don’t have to gumby into bizarre positions.
I resisted the aid of pillows for a while, thinking it would be unsexy to ask people to lift their butts up so I could put a pillow underneath them before going to town.
As in, “a little to the left,” “harder” or “keep doing that.” Remember: harder is not always better.
It depends entirely on the person, but don’t assume that hard and fast always wins the race ’til you hear it from your partner. Second, feedback is about your partner, not just about you.
Your inexperience here is a complete non-issue in terms of skill.
(The only rule you need to know ahead of time is to be careful about where your teeth end up!
And no, that doesn’t mean “pretend to make porn noises.” It actually means that there’s no need to react in any way you wouldn’t normally react.